I have to be honest when I say that I've been floating on a ship called unreality.
I didn't think the failing economy was that big of a deal. I listen to CNN all day in the background and realize that it's a problem and something a lot of people are facing. But It wasn't directly affecting me, and most everyone I knew seemed to be getting by okay. I have a full time job, a coaching gig, and I babysit for my next door neighbors.
And then I lost my job.
On Monday, my boss told me that his company isn't doing so well, and they looked at the budget and realized the only thing they could afford to cut was my job position. I understand, and they were very clear that they love me and my work and it had nothing to do with me, just the bad economy. It was an awkward conversation for all of us, I think. And an unexpected one.
On the plus side, I wasn't so happy at my job anyway, so getting laid off is a mixed blessing. I can use it to my advantage to figure out if I really do want to go to grad school, and what career path I want to explore.
However, all of a sudden, my eyes are opened. The jobs I thought were plentiful on craigslist aren't posting as quickly as I remember them being posted, and the ones that are on there pay little to nothing. The jokes my friends and I make about being poor, suddenly aren't so funny. My regularly empty bank account was being refilled occasionally thanks to a savings account I pretend I don't have, but that savings account is dwindling quickly. My positive attitude towards my friends finding jobs has hit a wall as I realize, the good jobs out there are far and few in between. The worry on the back burner about having a house, but not enough roommates, has jumped to the front burner and it's close to boiling. I realize that most of my friends are working 2-3 jobs just to stay afloat, are unhappy with their jobs or staying at them because they don't have any other choice, or they are living off of student loans.
How did we get here? And how do we recover? Money surely isn't everything, but it is a problem that has just reared its ugly face in my world. I have faith that things will work out in the end, and I am confident that I will be okay, I've always managed one way or the other. But I have to wonder about the rest of our country, and the people who were in desperate need even before the events of the past six months. Will we be okay? These days, I'm not too sure anymore.
1 comments:
a sobering message, but glad you're talking about it openly. yes, we need faith that everything will be ok, and of course it will, even if not on this rock. though my experience thus far is that even here things usually turn out ok and God is certainly faithful.
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